Apocalypse Now

We're in for something major here. Maybe a big earthquake or something. There were bizarre lights over LA tonight and all the animals were acting strangely. I have no explanation for the lights. If you have ever seen the Northern Lights then you'd know what this looked like... problem is that I'm a couple thousand miles south of where the Aurora Borealis should be visible. Everyone else was pretty baffled by them too. There were people standing on street corners, taking pictures, just gawking in general. Maybe there will be something on the news tonight. Whatever it was, it was cool... On my way home from work, it was like "Wild Kingdom." I have coyotes run out in front of me all the time (they are suicidal, stupid animals), but tonight it was more than coyotes. I also had a bobcat, a mountain lion, and 4 deer try to play car tag with me. It was fucked up... I'm thinking these have to be omens portending something... or maybe it was just one of those days where weird shit happens... Along with these signs of what I am sure is an impending apocalypse, I did have another glorious day. S-boy paid me a surprise visit this morning and damn if he didn't look (and smell) good. He is far and away one of my all-time favorite people ever... Then this afternoon Adam came to see me. Sigh. He looked good too. And he's so sweet. And dammit but I turn into such a fucking girl when I'm around him. It's stupid that he can get me as flustered as he does. What's worse is that he doesn't do it on purpose. We'll be having a perfectly normal conversation and then he'll say something and I'll get all "blushy" or at a loss for words or whatever. He finds it kinda amusing too. I think he realizes that it's out of character for me. You guys read my blog. I'm ballsy and opinionated and not afraid to speak my mind. So why is it that all of a sudden this guy can just smile at me and I get all self-conscious and can't seem to string together a coherent sentence around him? I know he's pretty, but he's not that pretty. (If I was going to get tongue-tied around anyone it should be S-boy who is easily one of the hottest people I've ever seen in real life, but with him I curse like a fucking sailor and feel like I've known him my whole life.) I should be sooooo annoyed by this sudden lack of control over my emotions, but I'm not. I kinda dig this feeling. I haven't had butterflies like this in a long time... I'm so going to get my heart ripped out and stomped on, aren't I? I know not to fall this hard, this fast. I know that and yet I see myself doing it anyway. Dammit. Grrr and Argh. Things are about to get complicated. I can just see it. I haven't even gone out with this guy yet... I'm a fucking idiot.... Somebody just shoot me... It would make things so much simpler...

"There are so many tensions involved in any creative activity so when there is a catastrophe you never indicate that you think the end of the world has come. You examine it and say, "Well, this is a fine new catastrophe. Now, what else is important today?" -- Goeran Gentele