Could someone please explain to me what the fuck I'm doing up at this time of the morning? Granted, I did stay up of my own volition until almost 2:00, but there were some orcs that needed killing so that's perfectly understandable. Why I can't seem to stay asleep now is not. I'll drift off but then the bizarro dreams come and I wake back up. They don't make any sense, but are filled with a sense of foreboding that has me a little freaked out. It's too early to start calling my east coast friends to check on them, and too late to call the west coast ones. I'm sure everything is ok, but just because the rational side of me knows that doesn't mean I'm still not worried. If the dreams were more specific, it would be worse I guess, but at least then I would know who to be worried about. I hate when I have nights like this. This would be a really bad time for me to have one of my bouts with insomnia. My sleep patterns are fucked up already. I haven't had any real reason to be on a schedule for months now, so getting back to the working world on Monday will force that to change very quickly. That may be part of my problem tonight. I KNOW I should be asleep and so the harder I try, the more awake I get. (See, I'm not just frustrating to other people, I'm frustrating to myself as well sometimes.) Bits and pieces of these dreams do have a reason. I started work on a new screenplay on Friday afternoon and the subject matter has wormed it's way into my subconscious. That doesn't surprise me at all. I wish I had it in me to write a comedy. The whole writing process would be much less emotionally draining to me then I think. Instead I pick heavy, dark subjects and while being very therapeutic and cathartic, it still takes a lot out of me to write them. It also seems to result in my babbling incoherently on my blog in the middle of the night... Tomorrow night (actually tonight if you want to be accurate) I will definitely be taking my Tylenol PM at a reasonable hour and knocking my ass out. I can't be up at nearly 5AM worrying about friends that I'm sure are actually fine, and stressing over a script that I've barely started. Not when I have to be up by 8:00 to get ready for work... Ok, so let's try to do this again... Everything will be alright by the light of day... I know I can fall asleep.... I know I can fall asleep... I know I can fall asleep...
"Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you." - Charlie Brown
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