Somebody please explain to me why the fuck I’m at the airport at 6:30 on a Saturday morning. Oh that’s right, I’m fucking insane. There aren’t many people I’d be willing to get up before the crack of dawn (on a Saturday no less) and fly across the country for, but there is a certain criminal mastermind that is definitely one of those people :) My flight isn’t until 8:30 so I’m way early. I normally take MARTA to the airport but chose not to this time and so I allowed myself way too much time this morning. Oh well. An extra ½ hour of sleep probably wouldn’t have made much difference... I’ve determined what it is I miss the most about having a full-time boyfriend. It’s not the sex. It’s not the knowing I’ll have a date for weddings and major holidays. It’s not the getting my family off my back about not having “someone special” in my life. It’s having someone lying next to me on those really bad nights when the nightmares just won’t go away. There is something to be said for having someone wrap their arms around you and tell you it’ll all be ok; someone to chase the demons away. There aren’t many times when I feel that I really need someone in my life. The nights when the really dark dreams come are one of those rare instances. I’m generally pretty self-reliant. Independent. I like my alone time and not much scares me, but sometimes even I’m afraid of the dark. I don’t know what triggered the dreams last night. (It certainly wasn’t going to see “The Ring 2” with my brother and sister-in-law. The movie was very not scary. I was sooooo disappointed.) But the dreams were bad. Violent. I hardly slept at all. By the time I finally did fall asleep it was time to get up and head out to the airport. I should have just stayed up and played EQ all night… I get the feeling this is going to be a fucked up weekend. I haven’t done a crazy road trip like this in a long time and I normally don’t go alone. I usually have Lindy along to keep me out of trouble. It’s slightly crazy and a little impulsive, but it was just something I needed to do myself… One thing I will say about these early morning flights, it sure brings out the pretty people for some reason. I’m sitting at the gate with probably a ½ a dozen guys that are just too cute for words and more just keep walking past. I wonder why that is. I’ll just imagine them all to be wealthy jet-setters on their way to some party in Prague; people with lives more interesting than mine. I would be so good at being independently wealthy. Someone just needs to let me prove that. If I bat my eyes and smile coyly at them do you think they’ll take me with them?
"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why." -- William Faulkner
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