I love my mother. Really I do. She is the smartest person I know, but sometimes she just doesn't have a fucking clue. She says she understands that I enjoy being single, do not want to settle down, get married, and have kids. She says that. I don't think she really does though because every now and then she says something.... She has taken to trying to bribe me to get married. I know it's a joke. Sort of. Basically here's the deal. My mom and step-dad have decided they don't want us kids to have to wait to get some of our inheritance money. So with some creative accounting they can give all of us "gifts" every year without us having to pay capital gains taxes on the money. As long as it's under a certain amount ($10K a year I think) then we can get it tax free. Nifty. I like this plan. I'm all about free money... So my mother's ploy was to tell me that it's a shame that I'm not married because then they could give money to my husband as well. I could get twice the money if only.... sigh.... So what if I seriously wanted to take her up on this offer? What does she think? I can just walk up to some cute guy on the street and say, "Hey baby, wanna get married?" They arrest people for that... I guess I could unchain one of those guys I'm keeping in the basement and make him my honorary husband or something... Hey, if I move to Utah and start a harem do you think she'd pay me for a whole bunch of husbands? Now there's a thought ;)
"Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
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