Transmogrification

I was going to save this post for tomorrow, but couldn't resist putting it up now. So, you guys get 2 posts today. Lucky you! I know you're all thrilled. Here is my response to the time travel guy:

I have the technology you seek! I too have had my life destroyed by the evil beings of which you speak. Mine were from the Gamma quadrant of the Horsehead Nebula. Where did yours hail from? It took me many years to perfect the technology that allowed me to escape from their evil clutches. I found the dimensional warp on the 3000 series models to be a little "wonky" on re-entry so I went with the 2600 model instead and was very pleased. As far as teleportation goes, I find it overrated. If the temporal reversion is working correctly then the teleportation function is just overkill. Please send me the specs on the type of travel you want to do (how far back you want to go, if you want it to be a permanent past-location or if you want to return to the present or future at some point, etc) The more info you can give me, the better I will be able to assist you in this matter. I highly recommend looking into transmogrification options as well. You would maintain your current consciousness, but in a different form. This would reduce the chances of your persecutors being able to track you down again since obviously you have something they want. Please contact me as soon as possible as I have several others interested in this technology as well and I only take on one project at a time.

Please, please, please let this guy write me back. I know it's probably not nice to fuck with the crazy people out there like this, but c'mon... There's just so much fun waiting to be had here...

"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams." -- Jeremy Irons - "The Time Machine"