This is supposed to be my review for "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe," and it will be, but I have to do a mini-rant first... I lack communication skills. I'm aware of that. I've spent most of my life being referred to as "the quiet one." Ok fine... but even I am better at communicating than most men it seems. I invited a friend of mine to go see this movie with me. He seemed excited to go which was cool. This particular guy and I haven't spoken in a few weeks and so I decided to be the one to play nice and break the silence because I figured this was a movie he really wanted to see. He was supposed to call me yesterday afternoon and let me know if he could go or not. I mean how hard is it to pick up the damn phone and press the little numbers that make it dial? Think I heard from him? Hell no. Not a call. Not even a fucking e-mail. I was not pleased. Oh well. Fuck it. His loss. He missed a hell of a movie and he missed out on a chance to hang out with me for a few hours... So as far as the movie goes, it was beautifully done. Was it true to the book? No. Not totally. I'm writing this review under the assumption that anyone reading it knows this story. Either they read the book or saw the previous film incarnation or something. If you don't know the story then feel free to stop reading now. I've talked to several people who told me they are going to re-read the book before going to see the movie. I had the same thought and re-read it over Thanksgiving. For those of you planning to do that let me tell you to stop. Put it down on the table and back away from the book. Read it after you go to the movie. (If you really feel you have to read a Narnia book, then read "The Magician's Nephew" instead.) I hadn't read the story in probably close to 20 years so I knew what happened, but the smaller details were lost in my memory. If I had not just re-read it, the changes the filmmakers made would not have annoyed me nearly so much. The changes were generally fairly small and were done to place the children in danger sooner and more frequently. I get why they made most of them. I still found them irritating. The one that annoyed me the most was changing the name of The White Witch's head wolf, from Fenris to GrimWald. Why? There was no reason to do it. It was a stupid change. As far as the cast goes, the kids were good. The casting is not as dead on as it has been for say the Harry Potter films, but it was still acceptable. The kids who play Edmund and Susan were fine. The little girl who played Lucy was the best of the four and the boy who plays Peter is very charming... of course I may just feel that way because he really, really reminds me of my friend Stann, but he still definitely has screen presence. Then there is Tilda Swinton who plays The White Witch. She is perfect. She is one of the reasons to see this movie. She is creepy and convincing and is exactly who I would have cast. Mr. Mentor (aka Liam Neeson) was also a great choice to voice Aslan. This is a movie that needs to be seen on the big screen. The special effects are outstanding. They don't rival those of "Lord of the Rings," but then most movies don't, and I think maybe we're wrong to expect them to. (Except for "King Kong" of course. The FX in KK better fucking rock.) Still this is a beautiful film visually. It flows well and is amazing to watch. The battles are violent and the "crucification" scene is disturbing. I would not recommend people taking small kids to see this. But it's a good film (and did I mention that it needs to be seen on the big screen?) There are a ton of potentially huge films coming out in the next couple of weeks, but you should still take the time to go see this one. If you loved the book, then the movie does not disappoint, and if you've never read the book, then the movie will probably blow you away... Happy thing today is LA movie theatre audiences. They don't talk. They turn off their cell phones. They seem to understand that seeing a movie in a theatre should be a pleasant experience for everyone...
"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained" -- C.S. Lewis
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