Not sure what to post today, but since I'm not doing anything else, I figured the least I could do is write a blog post... I had grand plans to go see "Jarhead" and "Chicken Little" this afternoon, which I'm sure would have made for a particularly schizophrenic day at the movies, but the showtimes came and went and I wasn't motivated to leave the house... It's a beautiful day here in SoCal and I did spend some time outside playing with Roland this morning. He's been kinda blue lately but going for "walkies" always seems to cheer him up. Ahh the simple life of a dog... With the weather like it is here, it's hard to believe Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away. I guess that's what I get for moving to a locale that doesn't really have any discernible seasons. That's a price I'm definitely ok with paying... Not much on the agenda for the weekend. I had plans for tonight but they kinda fell through so I think I'm just going to hang out here. Maybe play some EQ. I haven't played much recently, but am sorta getting back into it now. Guess I just needed a questing break... I promised Roland we'd go do something tomorrow. If S-boy is back in town I'll prolly give him a call and see if he wants to go to Dog Beach or go hiking or something. Anything to get out of the house for a few hours... I do have an annoying headache today too. It's not really that bad, it's just sorta there. Lurking. Trying to decide if it wants to get worse. My general lack of activity this afternoon, and the fact that I probably should have had something more substantial for breakfast than a bowl of Fruit Loops, might have something to do with it as well... I'm still not used to the time change out here. Out here on the left coast it gets dark so fucking early this time of year. Here it is, barely 3:30, and twilight is already setting in. It'll be dark by 5:00. Great for all my vampire friends, but the days sure seem short for the rest of us... I had an e-mail from The Devil this morning. He just doesn't know when to quit. He's going to be in town in a few weeks and seems to think that we're going to hook up while he's here. Not bloody likely. Grrrr. Why are men so stupid? In this one's case, it's probably because my track record speaks for itself. He and I have been "on-again-off-again" so many times over the last decade that it's become almost comical... in a scary, creepy sorta way. I admit, there are times when I do miss him... well, not really him so much as sex with him. That was the one thing we were always good at together. It was like the best drug you ever could imagine and I was soooo addicted to it for longer than I care to admit. Damn but we had some crazy nights... and I have the scars to show for it. Unfortunately that's a road I just can't journey down again. That bridge washed out a long time ago and then I burned the remains of it and threw out the map of how to get there just for good measure. This is the one person that I have ever been truly afraid of, and I don't care how great that fear made the sex, I just can't chance letting him back into my life even for a night. Ya know? The fact that I even considered it for the barest fraction of a split second shows just how dangerous his hold over me was, and to some extent still is. Ah the joys of having an addictive personality... This is why I should never be bored and left to my own devices. My brain wanders off into the deep woods, and with my remarkably bad sense of direction, you just know it's going to get lost and find its way into to an amazing amount of trouble trying to find it's way back out... Wow, this post ended up quite a bit longer than I would have anticipated seeing as how I had no fucking idea what I was going to write about when I started.... To quote Jack Sparrow, "Interesting... very interesting..."
"I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours." -- Kate Winslet - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
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