First off, if you don't know where the title of this post came from, then go home right now and watch "The Usual Suspects." Seriously. Stop what you're doing and go watch it... Now, I don’t want this to be a heavy post, but I get the feeling it may trend that way if I'm not careful. So I'll try to tread lightly, but let me put a little caveat here first. I’m not in a bad mood. I’m actually in a fairly good mood and have been for the past couple of weeks. I have some great friends to thank for that. I know I’ve been quieter than usual lately and for me that’s saying a lot, since I’m generally pretty quiet anyway. If I talked any less you might think I was catatonic ;) Just call me Verbal Kint. (See, "The Usual Suspects" thing comes up again. I'm telling you, it's a great fucking movie. Go watch it. If you've already seen it, go watch it again.) My quietness doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, it just means I haven’t had a lot to say… So, that being said, let’s talk about what I’ve decided is a plot to have me committed… Being miserable because of my job does not make me crazy. In fact, I think it goes a long way towards proving that I’m not crazy. I’m normal. Normal people hate their jobs, are unhappy at their jobs, want better jobs. Don’t they? Still, it has been suggested to me that I may be bordering on clinical depression and should maybe get some help. There is a clinical trial about to ramp up at Emory that is going to compare the use of St John’s Wort to the use of Zoloft. These same people who seem to think that I may be clinically depressed, also seem to think I need to participate in this aforementioned trial. Have I really gone that far around the bend? Do I need to be medicated? If I could be sure that I would be getting the SJW or the placebo I might be willing to try it. Free psychotherapy might not be a bad thing. The Zoloft part makes me really fucking nervous though. I was leery of drugs like that even before Prozac caused a friend of mine to blow his head off a few weeks back. I’m thinking that if suicidal tendencies are a known side effect of a drug, it probably should not be on the market anymore. Maybe that’s just me. Granted, a lot of depressed people are suicidal already and in many cases these drugs have curbed the impulses. Yay for them. I’m not suicidal, have never been suicidal; don’t want to chance taking a drug that might make me suicidal. See. Not crazy. Perfectly logical, rational reasoning going on there. I can think of much better cures for depression. A new job. Great sex. Lots and lots of chocolate. Caffeine. Killing things on EQ2. Playing with my horse. Getting the hell out of Atlanta. The alternative therapies are vast… Still, I’m kinda tempted to at least go to the initial consultation. It might make for a good blog post. Unless of course they decide I really am crazy and just go ahead and lock me up. That would solve my having to come to work problem though. You think being locked up in a padded room in a straight jacket would qualify me for FMLA?
"Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives." -- Chuck Palahniuk - "Fight Club"
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