At a Loss

I honestly have no idea what I want to write about today. So I'll just start typing and we'll see what happens. A stream-of-consciousness post. This might be an interesting experiment....

So, I stayed up much too late last night playing EQ. I'm like 5 good kills away from Level 13 and soooo wanted to keep playing but by like 1:30 I could barely keep my eyes open and was just not paying attention. I fell off a fairly large cliff running away from a fairly large red dinosaur and almost died. I decided that was my Q to call it a night. I'll get to 13 tonight and then I can start double-weilding my weapons. Ok, so I'm a major geek. I know this.... I finally caved and ordered DSL. It was way overdue. I work for a freakin' Internet company and was still on dialup. That's just dumb. Again, I know this. Self-awareness is not something I am lacking. (Except apparently when it comes to men. Then I can be as blind as a fucking bat as to what's really going on. Which I totally don't get. I am usually so good at "reading" people, but then I get around certain guys and it's like my brain just shuts off. I lose all sense of perspective and even seem to lose the ability to tell right from wrong. I have done some seriously stupid shit in my pursuit of some of the men I've been involved with. Does this happen to all women? or just me? I mean, I am not an emotional person. I'm very, very good at detaching myself from my feelings. So why is it that sometimes I just seem to lose my mind and get paranoid and stupid and fuck up what could be a really good thing? Maybe it's Fate telling me something. God knows with Kimball at least, Fate was screaming in my ear, "Run Forrest! Run!" and I still didn't fucking hear it. Actually, it wasn't that I didn't hear it, I just blatantly chose to ignore it. Warning to all - don't ignore Fate. It turns out badly. Sorry, that was like a major digression there. I had an e-mail from my stupid ex this morning that wound me up and it just pisses me off that he can still get me this worked up...) So anyway, I ordered my DSL on Tues, my FOC date was yesterday, and my line is complete today. That's super speedy. I remember back when it would take weeks and weeks and weeks to get a line provisioned. I'll get it all hooked up this weekend. Maybe I won't lag so fucking bad on the Plane of Knowledge anymore. Woo Hoo for DSL! No earthshattering plans for the weekend. I'm sure I'll get a movie or two seen. I'll play a lot of EQ. I'll sleep and sleep and sleep some more... and I should probably get some laundry done before I leave town on Tuesday. The weather looks promising for Saturday so I think I'll take my horse trail riding. No plans that are set in stone, which is always a nice feeeling. There is absolutely nothing that I HAVE to do all weekend. Tenetatively I want to go to the Breman Museum on Sunday afternoon. They have an exhibit on comic books right now that I really want to check out at some point....