Sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck..."

Yesterday Lindy posted on her blog some rules she has in regards to the men she dates. I thought I’d throw in my own 2 cents worth on the issue…

Let me start by saying I like rules. Rules are good. They give you a nice solid frame work for your life… and they give you something that you can absolutely obliterate when you meet someone who breaks one (or usually more) of the rules ;) As most of you are probably aware, I’m a big fan of the old cliche’, “rules are made to be broken.” So, here are the rules:

1) No married men – ok, so I sorta agree with this one. Doesn’t mean I haven’t broken it. Granted, there were extenuating circumstances. Like the fact that he “forgot” to tell me he was married. He “forgot” for 4 fucking years! Ok, still partially my fault. I saw some warning signs and chose to ignore them. I believed what I wanted to believe. Silly me, but I’ve always held to the idea that if you love someone enough to marry them, then you should love them enough to be faithful to them. Otherwise, don’t fucking get married!

2) Stick with older men – Older men? HAHAHAHAHA!!!! No freakin’ way. I like ‘em young. Younger guys have more energy. We joke about my “Star Wars” rule, but that’s really more of a guideline than a rule and it’s one that I’m very quick to blow right past. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike older men. If Kevin Spacey asked me to sleep with him I sure as hell wouldn’t say, “No.” Still, given a choice of a 27 year old and a 37 year old, chances are, I’m picking the 27…

3) Don't date people you work with – Ummm, define “date.” I think this one depends on the circumstances. I would not recommend sleeping with someone who works directly for you. That’s just a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen when things turn ugly. I’d also try and avoid anyone you have to work closely with on a regular basis. Things could get awkward if the relationship goes south… That’s it. Anyone else in the company is fair game. Go out there and have fun! If it doesn’t work out you can avoid them if you need to…

4) Try not to steal someone else's man – I’m a big believer in karma. If you maliciously go after a guy who is already spoken for, then be prepared to deal with the karmic consequences. If you’re willing to take that risk, then so be it. Personally, I think it depends on the guy. There are very few men out there that I would be willing to put that much effort into. Still, occasionally you meet one that’s worth fighting for. I also believe that the heart wants what the heart wants and a girlfriend is not a wife. She’s more of an obstacle…

5) Always see past the exterior – Not sure how I feel about this one. I like my guys pretty… of course a lot of the pretty ones turn out to be assholes, so there is something to be said for looking deeper. I would take this one on a case by case basis. I guess it would also come down to if you are looking for a long term relationship, or if you are just looking for someone to commit random sex acts with…

6) Don't date guys who play head games – Why not? Head games are fun… and if guys think they can play them with me, they are out of their fucking minds. I’m sort of kidding. I’m kinda past the game playing at this point in my life, but if someone starts it, you better believe I’ll play along, and they better be prepared for what they are getting themselves into. I can play in the big leagues, baby. Most guys out there are career minor leaguers at best.

7) Long distance relationships suck - I’m actually kind of a fan of the long distance thing, but I know that’s a rare opinion. Most girls like to have their men around. I do to some extent, but at the same time, I like it when they go away and leave me the hell alone for awhile too. I need my alone time. It also keeps a relationship from getting boring. The “coming home” sex is always good. I will admit that long distance relationships have their drawbacks. (See my comments above on the whole married men issue.)

So there you go. My spin on the whole rules thing. I’m the first to admit that I am probably the last person you want to take relationship advice from. I don’t have a good track record and usually find that pursuing someone is not worth the effort… of course that would also explain a recent 4-year gap in my sex life, but we won’t go there… So I guess basically what I’m saying is take the rules (these or your own) and throw them out the fucking window. Follow your heart. You will get hurt. It’s unavoidable… but life is too fucking short not to at least try…