Give A Little Bit

I must say it's been an odd week... the fact that I'm up at 1:30 in the fucking morning is testament to that... There are just a lot of things that have been going on and my brain seems to be having a problem shutting down tonight... It started last week with HWMNBN. He and I had a long conversation last Thursday night. We discussed how things had been going between us and he finally came to a realization that I had reached awhile back, but didn't really want to admit. Things are just not meant to be for us relationship-wise. We had both been trying too hard to make things work out between us. It came down to us just being stubborn and neither of us wanting to call the flatline, but we finally did. Time of death, Thursday March 9th, 2006 about 11:00 PST. It was for the best. Now we can both get on with our lives and hopefully salvage a friendship out of the ashes of our doomed attempt at trying to be more than that... The timing actually turned out to be really good for the both of us. I talked to him today and it seems he met someone over the weekend that he's really into. That's good. I hope it's not just a reaction to things ending between us, but I don't think it is. He seems to genuinely like this girl, and I've met her, and she's great. I could see things working out between them if he behaves himself and doesn't fuck it up... here's hoping for him anyway... I must admit that I also have my eye on a new guy. It's too soon to know if it's going to go anywhere, but I see potential... How crazy is that? I soooo don't need to get involved with anyone right now. I barely have time for my life, why in the world would I want to throw a new guy into the mix? Because I'm a raving lunatic apparently... More on that if/when events progress. For now I'm keeping my mouth shut in the vain hope of not jinxing this before it even gets started... S-boy has paid me a visit at work the last two days. Things are really rolling for him. He's got a new agent and has been to a dozen big auditions in the last 2 weeks. He's gotten several of the parts too. Yay! for him! I'm so happy for him. He's a really good guy and has worked hard to get where he is in this town. He's shooting an episode of "Bones" on Thursday. He gets killed and is so thrilled with his death scene. Dork. I love him for his enthusiasm though. He hasn't become a jaded Hollywood asshole yet and hopefully that's a fate he'll avoid for a long time to come... I talked to TNI briefly today too. I really, really miss him and he was in a major funk so on top of missing him, now I'm worried about him too. I hate not being able to wave my magic wand and fix things. I also hate that I'm not there to tell him in person that everything is going to be alright... and it will... I have faith... Meanwhile, I seem to be charity-girl all of a sudden. In addition to the hockey thing in Seattle last weekend for the Ronald McDonald House, I'm now involved in this fundraising thing out here for a guy named Shen Hsu. He's an acupuncturist and general healer who has worked with a lot of big names out here in LA. He's also one of my bosses best friends and he's dying of a rare liver cancer. We're raising money for his treatment and have a big event at The Key Club on April 3rd. There is a raffle and a silent auction and the Hollywood community has been really great about donating all sorts of memorabilia and services and whatnot. Hopefully it will all be enough. Our goal is to raise at least 80,000 for him. Doable, but still a lot of $$$. If anyone is interested, go check out the website (www.saveshen.com). Ok, enough for tonight. I have GOT to get some sleep or I will be totally useless at work tomorrow. Hope everyone is having a great week!

"Charity is the power of defending that which we know to be indefensible. Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances which we know to be desperate." -- G. K. Chesterton