Hollywood Sex Kitten

Forgive me dear readers. It has been 2 weeks since my last confession... err... blog post. Things out here in LA LA Land are crazier than ever, but I mean that in a good way. Here's the game recap so far. The actor that I got my script to loved it. (Sidenote: the title is now "Unraveled" since no one seems to think that anyone will release it with it's original title of "F*cked." Ok fine. I guess I have to concede that they're probably right there.)He's definitely on board if we can pull off the financing. Yippee Skippee. Even so, my project has sorta been shifted to the back burner for a little while. My producer has two other projects that he's looking to go forward on instead first, which honestly is just peachy with me. I'm soooo ok with getting my feet wet on someone else's project. That makes me less likely to do something boneheaded that fucks up my project. Might as well learn the ropes at someone else's expense, huh? I've gotten very involved with one of the other projects already. It's called "The Rescue" and TNI and I have spent our last 2 Saturdays doing MASSIVE rewrites on the script. The story was there, but that was about it. There were loose ends and ridiculous, unnecessary plot points, and bad dialogue, and it just needed a lot of work. We spent like 10 hours basically re-writing the whole thing last Saturday and I was actually pretty pleased with how it turned out. Our producer liked it as well, but still had a long list of changes he wanted made to the new version. To say I was annoyed with the changes he wanted made would be putting it mildly. I fumed about it for a good day before I finally got it through my head that this is not my script. I should not be so attached to it. If the director or producer want to make changes then I just need to do it and not argue. That's a lesson I'm going to have to learn if I want to continue to write on spec I guess. So TNI talked me down from my ledge and we sat down with the producer yesterday morning and hashed out the changes. I managed a small victory regarding one of the characters and that made me happier. We then spent another 5 or 6 hours re-writing to incorporate the changes. It has been a long couple of Saturdays, but the script is pretty much done now. Woo and Hoo! I got "hired" on to doctor the script, but I don't have any sort of production deal in place going forward, so my involvement with this project will probably be smaller now. I'm ok with that. The main purpose for jumping on board with this film was to hopefully secure TNI a part in it. If I get some sort of writing credit out of it as well, so much the better... About mid-way in to yesterday's writing marathon, TNI and I took a break to make some dinner and knock back a couple of gin and tonics. Now, I'm usually a vodka or rum girl. Gin does weird things to me and I never can predict what weird thing it's going to do. Sometimes there's nothing. Other times it makes me angry. Or gives me weird dreams. Last night it wound me up like a little horny sex kitten. I felt fine when I went to bed, but once I was asleep... holy shit... I have vivid dreams all the time and I'm not complaining about the sex dreams I normally have, but this was soooo different. This was like watching hard core porn in my head. When a dream is intense enough to make you have an orgasm in real life, now that's a damn good fucking dream. I had two of those dreams last night. They were amazing, but I'm kinda tired this morning. I feel like I was up having sex all night. Fucked up I tell you. Seriously fucked up. Don't get me wrong. They were great dreams and I'll take the hard core porn dreams over the violent recurring nightmare I've been having, any day of the week. Guess my brain just really felt that I needed to get laid... which would have made more sense a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't slept with anyone in months and then I had a lapse in sanity and literally jumped HWMNBN when he took me to lunch one day. It was probably a stupid thing to do, but fuck it. It was fun. I was horny and bored and he wound me up while we were playing pool and it just kinda happened. Shocked the hell out of him to. We fuck with each other all the time, making little sexual innuendos and whatnot. It's just the way we interact with each other. It usually doesn't go anywhere, but something in my brain just kinda snapped that day and well... you get the idea. We had sex in his car. It was crazy and reckless and we soooo should have gotten caught. (Did I mention we were in the parking lot at the Hollywood and Highland complex. Not exactly a quiet, discreet location.) It prolly shouldn't have happened, but I'd do it again if given the opportunity... and damn was the sex good. It's a whole different kind of adrenalin rush when you throw in the whole "what if we get caught?" factor. Fear definitely makes sex more interesting... in my world anyway :)I'm a freak, what can I say? You all already know this about me... So that's a it. The highlights of my last couple of weeks. I can't promise that I will be more regular with my posts, I do however promise to try.

"There is nothing wrong with being afraid---but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master." -- Bobby Darin

Reap The Whirlwind

My apologies for not posting at all this past week. Things around here just got really crazy, really fast. It's looking like I might get a shot at going into production on not one but two screenplays. One of them is mine and the other is one that Charlie (my landlord/producer) has in development that needs a MAJOR re-write. It's going to take some big puzzle pieces falling into place, but several of them lready have and things look promising. How fucked up is that? I do have to thank TNI for kicking my ass into gear a little last weekend or this prolly wouldn't be happening. He convinced me to finally let Charlie read my script and whaddya know, he actually liked it. Granted, I was encouraged by the fact that I had read this other script he's working with and saw how truly, badly written it was and that at least got my hopes up a little. So here we are, a week later, and my script is in the hands of our potential starring actor and Charlie asked me to do the re-write on the other script as well in the hopes that we can maybe convince this actor to sign on for a two-picture deal. I say again, how fucked up is that? This past week feels like some sort of Twilight Zone episode. Things have started to pick up at my "real" job, I came home and wrote most every night, I'm having this disturbing, recurring nightmare practically every night, and as a result I'm just really, really tired. Still, I wouldn't change it for the world. (Well, except for the nightmare part. THAT needs to stop right fucking now.) As tired as I am, I had an amazing week. I could do this for a living. I just know I can. I just need to be given a chance. If this actor comes through and agrees to do these pictures, things could very interesting around here in the next few months. The Sundance Film Festival is next week and given the right sense of circumstances, we could potentially have both films ready for Sundance a year from now. My head spins at the thought. One of my friends said to me the other day, "You've been grinning like you got laid all afternoon," and he was pretty right about that. I am not the most confident girl in the world, especially when it comes to my writing, and to have had people telling me all week how much they like this script has been a little bit of a power trip for me. I've tried to keep a level head about it, but it's been hard. For a variety of reasons, I SO want this. It could be a huge break not just for me, but for a couple of people that are very close to me, and I want it for them as much as for myself. So everyone cross your fingers and toes and pray to the movie gods that the rest of these puzzle pieces fall into place. I promise to keep everyone posted as events progress. It promises to be one hell of a ride.

"The dreamer dies, but never dies the dream,
Though Death shall call the whirlwind to his aid,
Enlist men’s passions, trick their hearts with hate,
Still shall the Vision live! Say nevermore
That dreams are fragile things. What else endures
Of all this broken world save only dreams!"-- Dana Burnet

Surrender The Pink

It was time for the blog to get a new face and since I keep hearing that, "pink is the new black," well, pink it is. How obnoxious is this? I think Hell may actualy be this exact shade of PeptoBismal pink. I'm sure I'll get sick of this before too long and go back to something a little more sedate, but for now, pink is good... Forgot to post my review for "Fun With Dick and Jane." That was my Christmas night movie. It was NOT what I wanted to see but I got out-voted. Apparently everyone else thought "Munich" was a little dark to take in on Christmas. Whatever. We sooo should have gone to see the Spielberg flick instead. FWD&J was pretty much what you expect it to be. Jim Carey being Jim Carey. It was mildly amusing, but definitely not something I just HAD to see. If you're really into Carey's stuff then NetFlix this one. Don't spend the $$$ to see it in the theatre.

“Too many freeways, too much sun, too much abnormality taken normally, too many pink stucco houses and pink stucco consciences.” -- Clancy Sigal

Party On

I promised a blow-by-blow of my New Year's Eve and hadn't gotten around to posting it yet, so here goes... there actually isn't that much too report. Partially because the evening was fairly uneventful and partially because I don't remember large chunks of it :) This shindig was originally supposed to be at a club in Hollywood, but a couple of days before I got an e-mail saying that the guest list had gotten a little too large for the club to handle so we were migrating the soiree to a mansion up in the Hollywood Hills. Groovy. So TNI and I dropped the Pony off with a valet at a lot on Sunset and got shuttled up the hill to this place. It had been raining all day, but quit shortly before we left for the party, so that was good. Everything was clean and sparkly and the view was definitely worth the price of admission. It was a really cool house that prolly belonged to some B-level producer or one of those random WB stars. It was nice, but not as huge and over-the-top as a lot of those Hill homes can be. It was an open bar and they were definitely not watering down the drinks. I had two. Let's count them. One.Two. After the second, I could barely walk or remember my name. There was really no one of note at the gathering so TNI and I amused ourselves by mocking all the self-absorbed wannabes who had gathered and were drinking themselves into oblivion. We hung out until around 1:00 (I think) and then hitched a ride back down to my car. I promised the driver I'd put him in my next screenplay and he seemed very amused by me. When we got back to the valet, they couldn't find my keys. So there I am, drunk out of my fucking mind and trying to explain to the people that my keys have "a purple carabineer and a compass" on them. I can just imagine how that came out sounding. My keys were finally located and TNI drove us home. I vaguely remember a detour to a Denny's for some food. I couldn't tell you what I ate if you paid me though. So it was a good night. Lots of fun. Too much to drink. I think my tolerance for alcohol is actually getting worse as I get older... and it was never very good to begin with... I'm glad it's Friday. I'm looking forward to a long weekend of not doing anything productive... Today has been "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" day at work. The Mayor and Principal Snyder have both made appearances. Maybe Marsters will drop by for the trifecta. Now THAT would make my day. Happy Friday all!

"Hear no evil, speak no evil... and you'll never be invited to a party." -- Oscar Wilde

A Change In The Weather

I heard rumors that there may be some snow flaking in the ATL this evening. Can't say I'm missing that. It was sunny and beautiful here in the City of Angels today. Granted, I was trapped indoors for most of it, but at least I could walk outside and think, "Damn, it's the first week in January and it almost 80 degrees." That makes me happy. The weather here was UGLY this weekend though. It started raining on Sat morning, took a brief break on Sat night to let us enjoy the New Year's Eve festivities, and then rained pretty much non-stop Sunday and Monday. The Rose Bowl parade got rained on for the first time in 51 years. We needed the rain, but I'm glad it's done. Now my winds have picked up. They came roaring through the canyons last night and I love to listen to them howl. It makes me horny as hell and triggers some fucked up dreams, but I'm ok with that. The weather is supposed to hold like this for the next week or so. I'm thinking a trip to the beach is definitely on tap for the weekend. The water is too cold to really venture out into it, but at least I can let Roland run around for a bit... Today turned out to be a pretty good day. MUCH better than yesterday anyway. I have started to dread Wednesdays the way I used to dread Tuesdays. for some reason, Wednesday has just become the day that I have to deal with high-maintenace, asshole, problem children. Everybody just wanted to push my buttons and by the time I got out of work I was ready to punch something. I had an arguement with a gas staion attendent and I scared the hell out of TNI on the drive home. What can I say? I was wound up and angry and needed an outlet for my aggression and playing in traffic usually works for me. I drove too fast and weaved through traffic and prolly shouldn't have done it, but by the time we got home I felt much better. It's the adrenalin junkie in me. I usually don't let it come out to play when there are innocent bystanders like TNI involved, but last night I couldn't help it. It was either drive fast or have a crying fit so I picked the one that was more fun... for me anyway. I'm much mellower today. Guess I got it out of my system.

"Are you driving with your eyes open, or are you like using The Force?" -- Eddie Murphy - "Beverly Hills Cop II"

What A Girl Wants

No new New Year's resolutions for me this year. I'll work on the ones I didn't quite accomplish in 2005, but I don't really feel compelled to add any new ones. Maybe I'm just lazy this year. I do however have a long laundry list of things I'm annoyed about these days though. I can't really post them without pissing off pretty much everyone in my life so I think I'll keep them to myself. It's probably a stupid and petty list that would most assuredly get me into another "war of the blogs" anyway. So I'm going to refrain from saying anything that will get me into any further trouble... I do want to know why my life has to revolve around what other people want though. What about what I want? Don't I get a say in my relationships with people anymore? Friends, guys, etc. My standard response to most questions is "I don't care." That's become my standard response because it's just so much easier than the arguments that ensue when I do speak up and say what I really want. Besides, most of the time I'm pretty easy-going and I really don't care. Unfortunately, I've sorta taken than stance even when it comes to things that I really DO care about. What can I say? I'm an idiot sometimes... Everything that happened last summer with HWMNBN is a good example. I told him I wanted to take things slow and get to know each other a little before rushing into an actual "relationship," but that wasn't what he wanted so he pushed and he pushed and he pushed until I caved in to his wants and shortly thereafter everything went to Hell. I'm not usually the type to do the whole "I told you so" thing, but dammit..–. So now I'm at the point with him where he's sorta gotten his life back together and I want us to start trying to start things over and he keeps telling me that he wants things to work out between us and wants us to be together, but now he's the one who wants his space and doesn't think we can be just friends for awhile until he gets his head screwed back on a little straighter and yada and yada and yada. So fine. I once again give in to what he wants and I don't call him and I don't email him and as much as I miss him, I stay out of his life. But then he e-mails me. Or he calls me. Or he texts me. Or he AIMs me. Make up your fucking mind already! Guys these days just piss me off. They tell you what they want and when you actually give in to those wants they do a complete 180 on you. I swear men are such fucking girls sometimes...– S-boy isn't much better. We joked about being "friends with benefits" at first which I was ok with. (Have I mentioned lately how hot he is?) Then he got on a soapbox about me thinking he was just using me for sex and he felt I would ultimately resent him for it. I tried to explain to him that I'm a big girl who can make her own decisions and everything and that I'm actually a big fan of the whole casual sex thing, but he's a big chivalrous boy when it comes to shit like that and decided it was better if we didn't start sleeping together. Ummm ok. Not happy about it, but whatever, if that's what he wants, then so be it. So for the longest time it was the whole "let's just be friends" thing. I love hanging out with S-boy and think being friends with him is just peachy so I was fine with that. Then out of the blue he asked me out. Like on a real date. When I asked him why the sudden change of heart he told me he had been talking to a friend of his and his friend said, "You sure talk about this Angie girl a lot. When are you going to ask her out?" OMFreakinG! Pardon me while I bang my head against a wall. If you like me, then ask me out because you like me. Not because one of your friends told you to! Fortunately we got past that and are now back on the just friends front. He's still one of the hottest people I know in real life and with enough alcohol involved I'm not saying that something wouldn't happen between us, but I've decided to just accept that fact that we're never going to be anything other than friends and get on with my life... That's my great curse. I have always had beautiful men in my life, but our relationships have always been on their terms. Sometimes my wants and their wants coincide, but most of the time they get what they want and I don't get any say in the matter unless I want to risk alienating them completely, which in most cases I don't. For a strong-willed, aggressive woman, I give in to other people's desires remarkably easily. Hence the reason The Devil and I had a tumultuous 10-year on-again-off-again disaster of a relationship. When I finally did put my foot down with him and told him I wasn't going to put up with his bullshit anymore, it came to a roaring, dramatic halt. Which is definitely for the best. He's the one person on this planet that I don't need in my life. Period. As a friend or otherwise. It just took me longer than it should have to figure that out...– I want my next relationship to be as drama free as possible. All I want is some guy that I have a few things in common with and who realizes how fabulous I am. Is that really too much to ask? Maybe I can get S-boy and TNI to write me letters of recommendation or something. They both love me and should be willing to do that for me, shouldn't they? I need to find someone with their tolerance for my neurotic tendencies that is also stupid enough to actually want to date me. The odds for that should be good, right? Kinda as good as winning the lottery I'm thinking...– Sigh...– Good thing I'm bad at math, huh?

"Never tell me the odds." -- Harrison Ford -- "Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope."