Emotionally Disturbed

I picked the absolute wrong movie to see this afternoon. That's not to say "The Constant Gardener" was a bad film. It was actually an incredible film. Ralph Fiennes is always brilliant and this time was no exception. It was just an extremely emotional movie. It would have been heavy and depressing to watch on the best of days and today was not the best of days for me. I woke up with a killer headache, which is always a bad sign. I'm tired and horny and I wish this headache would go away. I miss The Naked Indian. I miss HWMNBN (the HWMNBN that I knew before he was abducted by the Pod People). I'm not sure how I feel about the situation with S-boy. I'm just all over the emotional fucking map today. None of it is rational. I know that. My knowledge of the irrationality of it does not make it go away though... Fuck!... So anyway, back to the movie. It's a great story, but definitely not a happy one. One of the main characters dies literally 5 minutes into it. You then spend the rest of the movie finding out why. I'm a big fan of the reverse narrative when it's done correctly and they definitely do it right here. Mostly it's about conspiracies. Conspiracies by govenments. Conspiracies by global corporations. Conspiracies to keep things from those we love. Murder. Lies. Betrayal. Like I said, heavy-duty emotional stuff. The stupid thing is that by going in to this film in the frame of mind I was in, I probably got something out of it that was not intended. It depressed me on a whole different level. I should have been focused on the evil that is wrought on innocent victims by corporations and governements as they play their global chess games (although that aspect was disturbing to say the least). Instead I mainly found myself upset by the fact that I don't have someone in my own life that cares about me even half as much as Justin (Ralph Fiennes) cared about Tessa (Rachel Wiesz). How fucking illogical is that?!? I hate myself when I get like this. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often (although more often than it should). Maybe I just need to get laid. I dunno. That would at least cure my headache... I'd settle for just having someone pull my hair... Sigh. No such luck there either... Since I don't have a better alternative, I'm going to go take a nap. Maybe I'll be less grumpy and emotionally disturbed once I catch some zzzz's.... Sorry about the rant. It made for sort of an odd movie review. I still recommend checking this movie out. Just don't be looking for a "Happily Ever After" when you go to see it...

"Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do." -- William Shakespeare - "As You Like It" - Act III, Scene ii