Tuesday, May 03, 2005

No Rest For The Wicked

Aren't weekends supposed to be restful? Didn't I read that somewhere once? Well, I'm here to tell you that's a fucking lie. Don't believe it. I had the longest short weekend ever. Saturday in particular kinda stressed me out. I helped a good friend of mine move and while I didn't mind doing that, it was everything else on top of that which made it such a long fucking day. It rained. Traffic sucked. I didn't sleep well on Friday night, so I was already tired and grumpy and I spent a large portion of the day arguing on the phone with another friend of mine. That didn't improve my mood. Ok, so we weren't really "arguing," but we were definitely involved in what could be considered "heated discussion." Everything is peachy now, but despite the fact that I'm pretty open when it comes to this blog, I don't like discussing my feelings with anyone, especially a male someone that I'm kinda into. I'm a good writer. I'm much less articulate when forced to go one on one. Call me a cynic or call me a realist but relationships aren't my thing. I'd kind of sworn off of them. I can get a little crazy sometimes and in turn that tends to make the men in my life crazy as well. That can't be a good thing, right? I know I'm difficult to live with and I get bored with people pretty quickly. Maybe I'm just a commitmentphobe. Still, I really like this guy. He makes me laugh. I'm happy when I'm with him and for some odd reason he genuinely seems to like me. Go figure. I've gotten to the point that in the back of my head I keep thinking, "Well, maybe this time..." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... When did my life get so fucking weird? I have to admit, things have definitely not been boring the last couple of months. I'm kinda curious to see what happens next...

"Love isn't about playing it safe. It's about risks. Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you'll never know." -- Michael Rosenbaum - "Smallville"

On a sidenote. Here's my horoscope for today:

The stars have assembled a lovely planetary package for you -- the kind that makes for passion, romance and permanence. You may not be able to share the news with anyone just yet, however, due to either your current situation or theirs. But you really won't mind. Feeling this good doesn't happen often, and you won't want to jeopardize it, but you should at least think about talking it over with a friend. At times like this, there's nothing more valuable than an objective viewpoint

You've got to be freakin' kidding me. My horoscopes are usually not that freakily accurate...

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