So this will be my last post as a resident of the ATL. At 6AM tomorrow I'm hitting the road and I don't plan to look back. It was a crazy fucking week. There was some really good, some really bad, and a whole lot of in between. There were friends I didn't see enough of, and friends I didn't see at all even though I swore I would. I'm sorry for everything that fell through the cracks. I sit here now in a mostly empty apartment and try not to feel sad. I do not regret this move. I've wanted to do this for a long time. I regret the things I am leaving unresolved here. I get very upset when I think about the people I'm leaving behind so I just don't think about it. That is easily the hardest part of this whole fucking transition, but I know that everything will work out in the end. I'm the eternal optimist and so I choose to believe that :) I'm not a bad person. My intent has never been to hurt anyone. I'm just in a very odd place in my life right now and for some reason it is something I feel I need to go through alone. I am not trying to sever any ties here. My friends are important to me, but I can't explain to myself why exactly I'm behaving like I am these days and I know for damn sure I can't explain it to anyone else. So I have given up trying. I have been very unhappy for awhile now and I need some distance from Atlanta to try and straighten my thoughts and feelings out. This post is not worthy of the ending it is meant to symbolize. It falls short of a lot of things that I want to say. I just don't have the wherewithall to articulate them right now. Maybe once I'm out West and the sun has really started to bake my brain, I will be able to express what I really want to say here. Maybe not. Maybe I really am moving into a cult and by this time next week I'll be good and brainwashed :) I think as long as I avoid the Kool-Aid everything will be just fine...
"I do not regret the things I did, but those I did not do." -- Rory Cochrane - "Empire Records"
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