Voices in My Head

Haven't blogged in a couple of days. Partially because I haven't had anything to say and partially because I've had better things to do, but figured I'd better write something today. I don't want to get too out of the habit of posting...
It's been a fucked up week. Mostly it's been good. I've gotten to spend some time with a friend of mine that I don't see nearly as often as I would like. I finally extricated myself from a particularly destructive relationship. I am going to get to spend some time with the family the next fews days. Overall, not bad. Things could definitely be worse so I really shouldn't complain, but I still have this overwhelming sense of melancholy. Maybe I'm bi-polar. Maybe I need to be on lithium or something... a new job would probably do it too. I soooo need to be doing something else. Life is too fucking short to be trapped in a job that makes you unhappy. I know this, I keep saying this, and still I can't seem to get out. It's not that I'm not keeping my eyes and ears open for other possibilities. I'm always looking, so maybe in the new year my dream job will finally fall into my lap. Here's hoping I get that call anyway...
Let's see, what else to babble on about...? I need a new computer. I have an AlienWare laptop that I love, but it doesn't do what I need it to do now. Turns out that laptops are not good choices if you want to seriously get into gaming. (Which I for one, never thought I would do.) The graphics cards in even the high end performance models are not designed for the extreme graphics that most of the newer games out there have. It's looking like I need to get a desktop model. I'm trying to decide if I can justify it. One of the little voices in my head (the semi-rational one) keeps telling me I'm nuts to go out and buy a new computer (especially since I have a perfectly good one already) just so I can play some freakin' video games. Then another voice (a much louder and much more fun-loving one) keeps saying, "Fuck it. Life is short. Do whatever the hell you want." I hear from that voice a lot. It's gotten me into more trouble than I care to recall. Are we taking bets on what I decide? I've already got what I want configured on the AlienWare order site. It's a screaming little machine. All I have to do is click that "submit" button. Ah, decisions, decisions....

"Studies have shown that people who complain live longer. Yeah, there's always the possibility that this is because the people who have to listen to them die sooner, but who's to say?... Want health and longevity? Be a pain in the ass." -- Susan Jane Gilman